Its hard NOT being in a relationship. I've been wondering why this year has been oh so damn difficult for me, and I've realised I don't really have anyone to lean on anymore. I'm so used to having a shoulder to cry on, and big big hugs from people I manage to convince myself I'm in love with, if only for a month or two. Everytime something's gone wrong I've always had someone around. To distract me I guess. Like keep my mind off all the awfulness. Its just so completely different now, having not only to take care of me, but everyone else as well. Everyone's so lost, and I've to find them while searching for me.

I hate it when I start to get all philosophical/confused.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I miss you. And before everyone starts yelling at me, no its not him. No way am I putting myself through that again. Its one of the other hims, as Glenn so eloquently puts it. Oh well, its not like he'll ever know. I doubt he reads this anymore.

Oh god, I've become the mascot for desperation.